Day 23

I only have 1 week left of this fast and I am feeling like it will almost be weird to actually be able to eat normal food again. I have gotten into somewhat of a routine now and it has helped considerably. It has amazed me how much my metabolism has gone into shutdown mode. On Tuesday I had a really busy day so I had 1/3 of my cream of wheat for breakfast and 1/3 for lunch but then wasn’t able to eat anything until almost 8pm that night. I was completely exhausted that afternoon and then realized that I had gone all day on only 80 calories! So for supper I was able to eat the rest of my cracked wheat and split peas and had a good meal. This whole thing is such a weird feeling to me. The thought that I have gone 23 days without eating meat is crazy because before this I was the epitome of carnivores. I made sure I had meat with every meal I had and sometimes, although I realized it wasn’t healthy, there wasn’t much besides meat. Now I have not even been on a vegetarian type of a diet but more like a wheat diet and I can tell that it is taking a toll on my body. Yeah I have been losing a ton of weight but it has been really unhealthy and is going to take a long time to get my body back functioning properly again.

The whole weight part for those around me has really drawn the attention off of why I am doing this to the fact that I am losing weight. I started this off overweight and now have trimmed up quite a bit and that is the first thing I hear from everyone. I try to direct the conversations back to why I’m doing this but it usually ends going back to how much weight I’ve lost. I guess it shows how much value we put on image in our culture. Just to spite this type of mentality I still have not weighed myself because I am trying to make sure that the purpose behind this is holding pure. Some of the people around me know that if they call what I am doing a “diet” I have a few words with them very quickly to explain what and why I am doing this.

One of the things I have been talking about most lately is how much I have struggled with the lack of variety and blandness of my food. Even though I have realized how much this has effected my body and how unhealthy this has been, the variety has been the biggest struggle. It kinda hit me the other day that I think the reason that is my biggest struggle is because I started this fast overweight and I had a lot excess stored up for my body to feed on. I had been eating more than I should have for a long time before this and now have changed it for 30 days. The people of Darfur haven’t had that option. They didn’t start off as a refugee with a surplus of body fat to hold them over and they have been living in these conditions much longer than 30 days (some up to 2 years so far). I can’t even begin to imagine how their bodies are deteriorating and how much permanent damage it is causing. It amazes me that this all began because they stood up for their rights and wanted to be given the rights they deserved. Then Sudan began the process of genocide and is working on wiping the people of Darfur off the map by bombing, killing, and raping entire villages of innocent people. Sudan does everything in their power to cover up and hide any evidences that what they are doing is completely illegal but word is still getting out. I don’t understand why so many people don’t even know that this is going on. We need to keep putting this in front of the country and helping our people stay informed. Hopefully we as a people can raise up and do something about this. We can’t sit around and wait for governments to handle this.

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