Day 18

It’s been a bit since I have done an update on here. I was able to get away on Thursday morning and rented a camper cabin at Lake Maria state park and take 24hrs of solitude. I got back Friday night then had a funeral and celebrated my birthday with family this afternoon. It is pretty crazy to celebrate you birthday by watching everyone else eat your birthday cake. It didn’t bother me much, besides the fact that the cake smelled really good!

The fast is going pretty well and it feels really good to be on the downhill side of this. I am very ready to sit down and eat a burger for lunch and I’m counting down the days. I continue to try and find interesting ways to make my food so that it has even the slightest variation in taste and texture. I have even gotten to the point of burning my “wheat buns” so that it adds a burnt flavor and crunchy texture to it. Tonight I am going to try and make some fry bread, but need to look up how that is done (my dad claims it is easy). The cracked wheat portion has been by far my hardest part of this fast and it takes up over half of my daily calorie intake. The farina wheat cereal had been good until yesterday when I messed up cooking it in the cabin. I really messed up the thickness of it and it also had a hint of wood ashes to it. I gagged about half way through and wasn’t able to finish the rest of it. That pretty much ruined me on it today as well as I choked it down for breakfast. It is crazy how one little thing like that can ruin that food for a while. I am hoping that I will get over it and will be able to finish out this fast strong. The split peas have still been the highlight of my day and the meal that I enjoy eating the most but it is even beginning to get really old.

I have really gained sympathy for my grandma through this whole process. She was diagnosed with a bunch of random allergies a long time ago and has had to eat the same thing every week ever since. I can’t imagine knowing that I will only be able to eat this food forever! The only reason I have been able to stick this out as good as I am is because I see the light at the end of tunnel. The people of Darfur don’t have that light. They are stuck eating this ration that is lacking in so many areas that I can’t even begin to explain. Although the hunger pains aren’t as bad as they used to be, I am very lethargic and get exhausted very easily. I can’t imagine having to live off of these food rations and having to do hard labor, I have a hard enough time having energy for our Wednesday night youth service.

I am continually amazed at how apathetic the people around me are about the situation in Darfur. They ask what I am doing and why but they really don’t wanna hear what I have to say. They are really only asking because they feel they should. When I begin to explain what is going on in Darfur it is like the lights turn off, they are hearing what I am saying but they aren’t listening. I can kind of understand that some may not be as passionate about this as I am but I don’t understand the I don’t care attitude. A lot of this ties into our Christian life as well. How many times have you or I sat in a Sunday morning worship service and heard what the pastor had to say but really didn’t listen? Or how many times have we opened up the bible and read Gods word, then closed it and walked away unchanged? It is easy for us to get in this type of a rut where we just keep doing the same thing day in and day out because we are comfortable with it (James 1:22-25). I think that God has called us to a higher standard, a way of life that isn’t comfortable. We do this because we know that we don’t need comforts in this world because we have even more waiting for us after we pass away. It is amazing how often the problems that we are faced with come back to us having an eternal focus. If we truly had an eternal focus we probably wouldn’t see them as problems but as opportunities for us to grow closer to Christ and His plan in our lives.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

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